I'm on our dining table at this moment, having conversation with my own thoughts while my hands were busy doing the typing job on my keyboard. My housemates were doing the same thing, with their own gadgets scrolling some social media apps, perhaps thinking the same stuff inside my head, "what will I do next?", or "Is tomorrow will be a great and succesful day, will I achieve something achievable?" or if not, they were mesmerized on what they watch on their phones or asleep.
Three to four days from now, I'll be retiring from my current job as a staff nurse and will be unemployed for a couple of months for me to focus on my studies, a lot of exams and some orientations. I believe I will be busy for the next few weeks . But when you think of all this crazy adulting responsibilities, I am at the end of the rope, asking myself, "do I really need to do all of these for me to achieve something?"
I want to keep going, to finish the race on my own timetable and to be proud. But sometimes, I am exhausted of believing that I can achieve more than what I am doing now. People say that whatever you do now will determine your success in the future. What about doing less, and achieving more in next years of my life. Sounds perfect right?
On the contrary, no matter how tiring and exhausting life can be, I will never be scared of doing things that makes my soul and heart happy. I do the things I do because I love it and passionate about it whether it'll be successful or not. Failure and dissatisfaction is part of a great life.
I have come so far to think that I had never achieved something. I came this far to succeed and revolution for what I believe in. I may be jobless, broke and empty handed for the next few days, but hey! I had a lot of dreams, I have the fighting spirit to reach a flourishing and beautiful life. I will never give up. I need to wear my invisible crown, chin up and smile.
Life is harsh. Struggle is damn real. But when you train your mind to be ready to achieve great things in life, it'll not stop you of doing more now. One day, all of the efforts, will paid off, you'll be doing less and having more in your subsequent life. This is an affirmation!
So when you look outside, it's gloomy and cold because it was raining for 3 days now, the rain gives me a feeling of unhappiness, deterioration and anxiety but the affirmation of my hormones were stronger than what I felt about the rain. Just don't look outside and sleep.
